As I am reviewing Shane's work I'm trying to figure out how to apply the 'Simple Way' to my life. Even though I don't agree with everything Shane has said, I still think he has opened my eyes to a new way of living for God. Which is where I get stuck, is it okay for me to apply some of Shane's lifestyle to mine or would that be submersing only "half-way" into God? Shane makes it seem like a swimming pool. Many people hang around the deep end but never jump in, but when those that do jump, jump, they jump in completely they don't jump in just to get their feet wet, or to only go in half-way. Jumping in the deep end is an an all or nothing decision, there's no half way, That's what I'm feeling Shane is suggesting that either you live the 'Simple Way' or you live another way, that there is one style of Christian living that most people are missing out on... Maybe Shane would say that only deciding to live have of the stuff he talks about would be hypocrytical but he quotes Rich Mullins saying, "Christians are hypocrites," so maybe going in half-way is just a way of being a sinful and imperfect Christian.
The fact that I'm unsure how one lives the "Christian lifestyle" leaves me confused as to what God wants me to do. I'm so caught up in schedules right now, I don't know what exactly I should be doing or where I should be going. I know God has a plan for me and that I just have to praise Him through this storm so that I can be placed where I need to be to be close to Him, but I'm so weary of where I currently am. I'm confused about so many things in my life right now I am truely the comfortable being disturbed by God, yet am beign comforted because I am disturbed. As you can see this leads to confrontation between who I am, who I want to be, and who God wants me to be. I'm trying so hard to keep the phone lines open but maybe I'm trying too hard? I'm not just letting God work I'm trying to push Him and do the work for Him? I'm not quite sure which is why I'm stepping back once again and praying that God just does His work in one way or the other.
