Heather Huckstadt

                Horace Bushnell was from Hartford, Connecticut, the same area as my favorite fictional characters, the Gilmore Girls! It sounds like that's about all he had in common with them though--he was a pastor in the North Congregational Church, something that the Gilmores never would have done.  So, unlike the Gilmores, he was really dedicated to the Sunday School movement--he thought that kids could be raised in the faith without having to have the conversion experience that a lot of people believed in.  Ideas like these help him to tell Christians how we are to know what our callings are. 

                Bushnell argues that everything in creation has a God-given purpose.  He first talks about men in the Bible and how they were given purposes.  Then, he notes that God has a particular care for every man, so it makes sense that he would give each his own purpose.  He notes that every single star has a specific purpose, every grain of sand too.  If one star or one grain of sand was out of place, the whole system would be ruined, so each part of the system has its own purpose.  Likewise, every human has a purpose and a plan that God has given him or her.  Although we have the free will to do things that are not our purpose, the best thing for us is to do what God made us to do.  This argument could be a bit disheartening, but I don't really think it is too bad--it makes complete sense, and I definitely agree with it.  I think it could cause a lot of stress in finding one's calling, but I have already found mine, so that's not as big of a stressor for me. 

                Bushnell doesn't just leave us on our own, though.  He tells us to consider the character of God, and how we can make ourselves like him.  He tells us how to use our conscience according to the law and be an observer of Providence, and to consult our friends for help.  Lastly, he tells us to pray for our callings to be made known to us.  I definitely think this advice is helpful.  Like I said before, I feel like I knew my calling before I did my project, but my project really helped me be sure of myself.  If nothing else, my project has given me the "friends" component that he talks about--I have had people at my project site and on campus recognize my gifts and how I can use them, and that is really assuring.  One thing that I didn't really get from Bushnell was the idea of experimenting with one's calling, however, and I think that's really important too! While trying to tutor for children or babysit or other related things, I realized that my heart just isn't in it unless I am helping the Latino community--in fact, sometimes when I babysit, I start to speak Spanish just because I associate kids and Spanish now.  I think that the experimentation was really necessary for me to find this out, and this is definitely a benefit that the project gave me that Bushnell didn't really talk about too much. 

Note: I was going to add pictures, etc. but my computer has other ideas in mind....

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Howard Thurman was the grandson of a former slave.  He grew up in poverty, but was very committed to non-violence--so much so that he was an influence for Martin Luther King, Jr. and other leaders of the civil rights movement.  As a theologian in the "Post-Christian World" era, he addresses one or both of the questions "How do I simply live as a Christian?" and "Is my life's work a 'calling' or 'job'?"

            In "What Shall I Do with My Life?" Thurman talks about the temptation of Jesus.  He had a few notes about the third temptation in particular.  He remarks that the "tempter strikes at the center of Jesus' dominant passion, to bring society under the acknowledged judgment of God and thereby insure its purification" (387).  He also talks about how the tempter tells Jesus that all the kingdoms of the earth belong to the tempter himself, not to Jesus. Because of this, Jesus told his disciples to be careful of the wolves when he said "Behold, I send you out as lambs among the wolves.  You must be as wise as serpents but as harmless as doves" (387-388).            

            Thurman also makes a few statements about the role of Christianity in the public square. Basically, what he said (I think) was that there are lambs and wolves both in this world, but they have to learn to work together.  Obviously, we are going to have some wolves in the public square, but it is not until we can inject some of our "lambliness" into their lives that any good can actually occur.  How I see it, at least, was he was saying that we have to show people love regardless. 

                I have to say, as far as theologians, etc. go, John Wesley is actually one of my favorites (mostly because I can understand him a little!).  The "creator" of the Methodist church (although he never was actually a part of it, so maybe a better word would be "inspiration"), I know there are many churches with his name in theirs (and my sister's school, Illinois Wesleyan University, which used to be Methodist, has it as well).  The book doesn't give us very interesting information about him (in my opinion), so I'm going to go off memory, supported by the internet.  Okay, so mostly it's going to be from the internet, but I do remember that he wrote a lot of hymns we use in our church...which ones, I can't remember, but they are good ones.   I digress...Wesley believed in the whole "experiencing God for yourself" idea, perhaps stemming from an experience when he was young and was rescued from a burning building, which made a big impression on him.  I'm guessing that these ideas will maybe play a part in what we get to read this week, "Sermon 28: Sermon on the Mount-8), but maybe not...we shall see.  I am fairly certain, however, that we will see the themes of "To what particular work is God calling me?" or "How can I serve God through family life?" which are the themes for this era of writings.

                Wesley points out what is not forbidden by Matthew 6:19-21.  Basically, he's talking about how to not be greedy in today's world.  We can "use all diligence in our calling, in order to owe no man anything," thus obeying the law that says that you have to pay people back.  We can also provide for ourselves--that's not out of the question.  We are to provide for ourselves with things that we need, like plain, wholesome food, and clean clothes.  That way, we aren't a burden to anyone else who would have to otherwise take care of us (God isn't telling us to be lazy!).  Likewise, we are not forbidden to provide for our children and the people in our household, because that's one of our duties.  And lastly, we are not forbidden to save up a little, so that we can carry out all the other things--providing for ourselves and families, paying people back, etc.  He recognizes that money is necessary to have in this world, and it's necessary to have something to fall back on in case things go wrong. 

                A huge aspiration of many Americans is economic success.  That really hasn't been one of mine since I was really young, or shall I say, economic success in the sense of being really rich.  My project has not caused me to re-evaluate this, but if I had had different thoughts on the subject in the first place, I could guarantee you I would feel differently. 

  When I was really little, I wanted to do a job that did guarantee a lot of money--when I was really young, being a princess seemed to be the easiest way to do that.  I contemplated on being a lawyer or something along the way (being a doctor is out of the question for me--I can't handle blood!), but when I started going to school, my thoughts really changed because I had such positive influences in my teachers.  I'm pretty sure it was my first day of pre-kindergarten that I decided that I wanted to be a teacher just like Mrs. Zimmer.  I told my mom, and she explained to me that generally, teachers don't make a lot of money, and maybe I would want to consider another career if I cared about that kind of stuff.  Ever since then, I have been considering careers like that--except I think every time I change career ideas, I end up changing to something that makes even less money.   I've just had so many positive influences in my life, from my elementary and high school teachers to my internship supervisors to professors and bosses, and they have shown me what is really important.  I understand that there are people that do want to be rich and that's how they see success, but for me, economic success means having enough money to live, which at the rate I'm going, is going to require a lot of praying (I can't keep changing careers--pretty soon I'm going to be at hobo, since I keep changing to lower and lower income careers).  But really, through all these people--the teachers, the social workers, etc., I can see that even if you don't make a ton of money, it's definitely possible to still live a comfortable, happy life, as long as you get to do what you enjoy. 

"Choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life." Confucius.

Image by drewgeraets via Flickr

Tuesday night was the annual lecture from the Poehler Lecture Series: Connecting Faith and Learning.  The speaker this year was Dr. Loma Meyer, Professor Emerita of Education.  For those of you who think that the name seems familiar, that's because it is.  Meyer Hall (where pretty much all classes take place, but ironically, none of mine this semester) was named in her honor because of all that she has done for Concordia in her 40 years here.  Since she arrived here in 1967 she has been an award-winning professor, director of instruction, dean of faculty, vice president for academic affairs, and executive vice president.  At one point, she held a bunch of those positions at the same time, making her a very powerful, influential woman.  I can't imagine Dr. Luebke and Dr. Chatman's jobs being done by one person, let alone adding a couple of other jobs into the mix.  Needless to say, she has gained the respect and admiration of both her students and colleagues, and has achieved semi-fame around Concordia campus for all of her contributions to the university. 

                Dr. Meyer's lecture was entitled "Change: Integrating Faith and Learning."  She concentrated on faith and learning in an autobiographical, historical, and futuristic sense.  She opened the lecture talking about faith and learning in life and death, talking about her late husband as an example.  Then, she moved on to historical change, focusing more on the university rather than her personal life, noting the huge changes that Concordia has undergone since she has arrived.  One thing that struck me was the flip-flopping of the majority.  In 1967, the university was 93% church work majors, and now it is only 5%.  For a person who complains about hearing too much emphasis on church work majors, this was a reality check.  She did note, however, that CSP is growth oriented, and it embraces change, combining the world of faith with the world of learning and holding them in "creative tension."  She says that it all starts with faith, and then one must go on to his or her specific discipline.  She used a quote from Tertullian and one from Luther in her explanation of vocation, which seemed pretty relevant to our class.  She talked about Luther's definition of vocation as service to others, like service learning.  She acknowledged programs like the Honors Program, internships, study abroad, service learning, etc. as "expansion phases" that help people to learn and find that vocation.  According to Dr. Meyer, knowledge is how we integrate faith and learning, and personalization by professors makes the difference. 

                Although I didn't realize it during the lecture itself, Dr. Meyer's speech basically was the Honors Program in a nutshell (last year's speech was a little more obvious, I guess).  Going back over my notes, I noticed some examples that she used that we have talked about in class, like Tertullian, Luther, and Aquinas.  The one thing that was a little bit different was that she said one must start with faith and go on to the disciplines, which is a little more like the curriculum this year than last year.  Last year was a little more focus on the ways of knowing, and each person focuses on a different way of knowing a little more than another person might.  This year seems to be a little bit more specific in faith as a way of knowing, and Dr. Meyer's speech had a bit more to do with that than each specific way of knowing like Dr. Schoenbeck's speech did last year (I remember some of the same graphics being used in his speech that we used in class.) Still, although it was not quite as obvious at the time, Dr. Meyer basically summed up this year's class by telling the story of Concordia through the past 40 years. 

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Once again, for tonight's blog, I have chosen to blog about a Hispanic J.  Sor Juana Inés de la Cruz was born in colonial Mexico (ironically, I probably just failed a midterm about colonial Mexico).  Anyway, her dad was a Spanish soldier, and they were living in colonial Mexico.  I'm guessing, from the phrase "illegitimate daughter of a Spanish soldier" that her mom was probably an indigenous Mexican, so Juana was a mestizo (which is the race that most Hispanics nowadays are).  That's my random tidbit for you that has absolutely nothing to do with the blog, but since Honors is all about being interdisciplinary, I thought everyone would like to learn from my discipline. I'm just making connections.  Anyway, Juana went to a convent in Mexico--hence the "Sor" (Sor means sister in Spanish, but I'm guessing it's only in the religious sense since I haven't heard it before).  She wanted to learn and liked writing, so she wrote plays and poems and essays, even though the Archbishop of Mexico disapproved of a lot of things she wrote.  Since the archbishop was opposed to so much of her writing, she stuck up for herself and wrote this selection to defend her calling.

Juana had a lot of obstacles in her way throughout her life as a scholar/writer.  Her mom wouldn't let her go to Mexico City to go to college and she was a slow learner on her own and in the few Latin classes she had.  When she became a nun, the only things she could study were "lifeless letters," and she didn't have a teacher to read them and explain them. 

I still am a firm believer that my calling is where my deep gladness and the world's deep hunger meet, like Buchner said.  I have had a few small obstacles in my project, but none as prevalent as Juana's (whose had to do with gender inequality for the most part, it sounds like). Strictly speaking of my work with La Oportunidad, the biggest obstacles I have come across are kids who don't want to listen.  Obviously, for all my project sites, my self-confidence in my Spanish is my biggest obstacle, but I think that it's getting smaller and smaller each time I go in.  Unless you count the creeper at Casa, I've been really blessed through these projects--I haven't had huge obstacles to overcome...yet! I have a feeling that is still to come.

I kind of REALLY want to live in Juana's childhood home now...

WARNING: WRITER OF THIS BLOG IS IN A REALLY WEIRD MOOD.  READ AT YOUR OWN RISK.

Ignatius Loyola was Spanish. (Yes, Spanish.  Not Latin American who speaks Spanish--that is not a Spanish person; it's a person that speaks Spanish. This guy is actually from Spain. Sorry--pet peeve. )  You could say that's why I chose to do my blog on him this week.  We all know about Luther by now, why not add a nice Hispanic (Hispanic=of Latin American OR Spanish decent) guy to the mix? Sounds good to me. I'm a big fan of diversity, even though the Spaniards weren't the nicest of people during this time. Perhaps my Spanish class will tie into this! We shall see.  So Loyola, he was a soldier, but then he got hurt in battle, so then he kind of had nothing better to do than reflect and educate himself, because nobles don't really work, as we all know.  He started the Society of Jesus, which is also known as the Jesuits (I already knew this! There's a Jesuit school in Chicago called Loyola! Fun fact!) .  The Jesuits were the leading missionaries of the church in that time (this gives me a bad opinion of him already, given that we are talking about the conquest of Latin America in Spanish class.)  Loyola sees salvation as something a person can get with a combination of God's grace and human free will.  In the reading, he talks about how to use that human free will as a way to serve God, in order to answer the questions of the era: "To what particular work is God calling me?" and "How can I serve God through family life?"

Loyola has two methods for making a decision in a time of tranquility.  A "time of tranquility" is when "the soul is not agitated by diverse spirits, and is freely and calmly making use of its natural powers" (side note: a comma is not needed there because there is no second subject, yet the book uses one. I don't like reading old things with old grammar rules.)  I choose to focus on the first method that Loyola uses, which has six steps:

1.       Put the thing that the choice regards in his mind.  In other words, think about it!

2.       Focus on keeping the choice unbiased and all for the glory of God.

3.       Pray that God shows which choice will promote His praise and glory.

4.       Weigh the advantages against the disadvantages--kind of like we did a risk:benefit ratio in our project forms we turned in last week.

5.       Consider what sounds most reasonable.

6.       Pray that God will accept the choice that has been made.

I would like to think I use this method already.  Sure, I didn't know this exact method, but I do have similar steps involved in my decision-making process.  Sometimes it's easy to figure out what God wants me to do, but most of the time...it's not that easy. There's not always an obvious answer to our problems, or the obvious choice that we should make.  Although I like Loyola's method, I think that God has a little bit of a different idea for us.  The reason why these choices can be so hard to make are because he wants us to make our own decisions.  That's how we grow.   And when we make mistakes...that's when we grow the most, in my opinion.  Right now, I'm trying to decide what to do this summer (job-wise, or maybe there's something else God wants me to do).  Needless to say, things aren't magically falling into place.  I really do think that God wants me to make my own decisions and learn from them, no matter what.  However, some of the hardest decisions I make are with what to fill my time.  I do think that God put La Oportunidad in my life last year, and that the reason why other places I've served in the Twin Cities haven't worked out was because he has a plan for me.  I wish I could stay there forever....maybe He can make an intern position for me for later!

What a cool hat!

Given this week's topics of reading, John de Joinville and Joan of Arc, it didn't take much for me to decide which reading I wanted to focus on.  1. Joan of Arc was an amazing heroine in history, and I've been to the place where something happened that had to do with her, so I can kind of picture her story. 2. I really know very little about her (see phrase "where something happened that had to do with her") even though I have been to some historic sites in France.  I really haven't studied her much. I think the closest I have gotten to her is the tv show Joan of Arcadia. 3. My real reason for choosing Joan: I love the tv show. :P  While it's not exactly historical (it's about a girl named Joan in present-day who hears God in random strangers), and it probably doesn't have a whole lot to do with the actual Joan of Arc (girl who heard God in voices in her head, who helped lead a battle against the English and was really brave--something Joan of Arcadia is not!), that was really my reason for deciding to study her.  Callings includes some testimonies of and about Joan of Arc, all of which make me realize that perhaps this woman had a little more going for her than Joan of Arcadia does.

There are two different views of Joan in the selection--one from the trial testimony, and one from the summary of conclusions at the examination of Poitiers.  In the trial testimony, the language is very doubtful. The author is kind of just saying "she says this and this and this and we all know she's crazy but she keeps going on and on," or at least that's the tone I got from it.  The end has a similar tone, but much more formal.  At Poitiers, the language is very official-sounding, showing that they had tested Joan and they believe her to be crazy because of the tests, etc. Neither of the testimonies seems to believe that Joan really is hearing the voice of God.

I don't know that I have met anyone with quite the zeal and confidence of Joan of Arc through my project--I think this zeal is really special and the Holy Spirit has to give it to whomever he chooses.  This kind of ties in both with the verse we talked about in Spanish class about the Holy Spirit blessing people with spiritual gifts and with the mid-project evaluation that Rocio and I went over. Although boldness is not one of the fruits of the spirit that is mentioned in Galatians 5, I can see it working in a similar way. Rocio told me that I do a wonderful job with La Oportunidad, but I need to have more boldness.  I don't always speak Spanish to the kids, and I'm not always super-friendly (I tend to be a quiet person...boldness just doesn't come naturally). I know that the things on the mid-project evaluation are there for us to learn what to work on, and that's definitely the case with me.  I pray that the Holy Spirit will give me confidence like Joan of Arc had--so that not only can I speak Spanish more in the classroom, but I can lead by example and really make a difference in those kids' lives

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This week, our blogs should sound a little bit different, because we are in a new section of writers in our book for the semester, Callings.  The writer I chose to write about was Mechthild of Magdeburg, who was one of the great medieval German mystics.  She wrote a book because she had visions and reflections on them, and a Dominican priest had told her to write down all her thoughts.  In this section, she talks about St. Dominic, the founder of the Dominican order, and how leaders truly should be, something that can apply in any era. 

The quote I chose to focus on from this reading is as follows:

"'My son Dominic had four things about him while on earth that all priors should have about them. He loved his fellow Dominicans so much that he could never bear to trouble them with things arising from some whim of his own.  The second is that he often improved the food to help and show affection for his brethren, so that the young brothers might not think back on the world and so that the older ones might not succumb on the way.  The third is that in holy wisdom he provided for them the model for being moderate, for the sake of God, in their whole being, in all their customs, and in all their wants.  The fourth is that he was so merciful that he never wanted to burden his dear brethren with any kind of penance that the order did not require for wrongdoing.'"

I really liked this quote, not just because how Dominic left his legacy on everyone.  I think it (kind of) can apply to many areas of my life, especially in my project.  I would like to leave a similar legacy with La Oportunidad (assuming I have to eventually leave!).  Obviously, it will be pretty different, as I am not a Dominican monk, and I don't have "brethren" persay, but I think this quote can be revised to fit what I would like to accomplish.  This is what it would say (I'm also going to put it in a bit more modern language, because that's just more fun):

"Heather did four really cool things while she was working here.  She loved those kids so much that she never wanted to cause them to worry.  She never wanted them to worry about her, because she was there for them.  The second thing was that she helped out a ton with the lessons to improve them, so that the kids could think about El Camino and remember how awesome it was.  The third thing was all the wisdom that she gave to the kids.  She helped them through tough situations and was a great role model for them, so that they always knew what to do, no matter what.  The fourth is that she was understanding with the children, and treated them with respect even if they did not respect her all the time."

I realize now that this quote sounds like I'm dead, and obviously I'm not yet, and Dominic's quote was like that because he was, but I kind of don't feel like changing it.  When I met with Rocio for my mid-project evaluation, we talked about a lot of these things.  She talked about my character, and how I was great with the kids, but she also said that I could take a more active role in the group.  Now that I know that I should do that (I didn't really want to overstep my boundaries before), I am really interested in helping out with lessons and things to help the kids as much as possible.  I really love those kids, and I would do anything for them.  I really hope that I can impact them as much as they are impacting me.

                Antony was a man of God who lived in Egypt around 251-356.  He had some really powerful faith, in my opinion, because he stayed true to God in difficult times.  He even kept the faith when he was fighting evil--basically, he was wrestling with an evil spirit (from what I understand of it, at least).  Even though he was in such scary situations, he kept true to God and never strayed from his faith. 

                Part of the reason Antony had such strong faith was because he had some great role models.  He pondered over things he read in church, and tried to be like the early Christians who sold everything they had to give to the poor.  He ate only when he really had to, and spent most of his time studying the Bible and getting closer to God.  He had really great role models through ascetics, and in turn he became a role model for many (why else is he in a book if he's not a role model?). 

I can really identify with Antony, not because I sold everything I have or rarely eat, but because I have been blessed with some amazing role models. I have numerous role models, and have had even more in elementary school and high school, and each person has taught me something special.  Currently, I have around 6 role models, but my list changes so much! I have two wonderful role models at Western Avenue, Socorro and Liz.   Socorro gets frustrated a lot at work because it's really hard to deal with so many people's problems, but she is a true example of someone using their gifts to their full potential.  She has the workload of way more than one person, yet she still takes time to get to know most clients and help them as well as she can.  She talks often about how she wishes there was someone else with her job as well so they could do more community outreach.  Liz is another example of how someone can really use his or her gifts.  She really likes to talk, but she's also a great listener, which is great since she's a counselor.  She runs a support group for Latina women who are facing issues of domestic violence, and she takes care of those women and their children like they are her family.  I've gone many times at 10 or 11 at night to take food or diapers to families with her.  She shows what it is to truly give of your time.  Another really important role model to me is my boss at La Oportunidad, Rocio.  She's just like Socorro and Liz, except she gets to work with kids.  She really cares for the kids she works with, and it's just really inspiring to see her work.  Some of the lessons seem kind of cheesy to me, but the kids (generally) have fun, and they love her!  She is really a role model for me because of her relationship with the kids, and I'm starting to get similar friendships with the kids, which makes me really happy.  Over Christmas break, I met another person who quickly became a role model for me.  While in Nicaragua, we only had one night with the owner of the mission that we were working with, but the one night we had with her really changed my perspective a lot.  As a person wanting to go into bilingual social work, I'm SO scared.  I hate being in uncomfortable situations, and (for the most part), I have managed to avoid them.  Linda taught me, however, that it's okay to be uncomfortable.  She didn't speak any Spanish before moving down to Nicaragua to start the mission--and now the entire community knows and loves her.  I think part of the reason I wanted to do social work with Hispanics was because I can use my skills in Spanish.  Originally, I was going to go into ESL Education.  I decided not to because I don't speak ALL those languages, but Linda showed me that that's okay.  I know that if I feel called to work for an organization that works with people who don't speak English OR Spanish, I'll be okay.  I feel like I've talked about my role models too much now.  I feel bad for not talking about Kelly or Luz, but they aren't so much role models in my vocation, but in my daily life.

I really hope to be a role model in 10-15 years, hopefully sooner.  I really hope that I am someone like Rocio--that kids love, talk to, and look up to.  I think that I'm starting to be like that a little bit at my internship, and that makes me really happy. J

                This week's readings were on the Martyrdom of Perpetua and Tertullian's Apology. I chose to focus a bit more on Tertullian's Apology.  It (obviously) was written by a man named Tertullian, who lived in North Africa between 160 and 225.  As a convert to Christianity, he wrote Apology to defend Christians against the rumors that were going around about them and to try to set the record straight.  He talks about the ways that being a Christian made his and others' lives harder, and how they were hated because of others' ignorance.  He talks about the term "Christian" as a negative term, and then tries to stick up for all of Christianity--because so many problems were caused due to ignorance, he wanted to get rid of that ignorance once and for all.

                The entire selection seems to be an argument against the bad reputation that Christians were getting in those days.  They were charged with treason and accused of being a bad influence, which Tertullian decided to refute.  He said that they are not committing treason--they simply do not worship the gods that the government wants them to worship because they know that these gods don't exist.  There is no reason for them to worship something that they know isn't there.  In a similar argument he explains why the Christians don't at least pretend to pray to these false gods to at least help their reputation.  He says that instead of praying (or pretending to pray) to something that they know doesn't exist, they pray to the true God for blessings upon their persecutors.  Lastly, he notes that Christians really aren't bad people--they are simply one body in Christ, with a common religious profession and hope.

                Although I have never been in a situation where Christians were persecuted in any way, many things haven't changed since Tertullian's time.  Many people are still ignorant, and they judge others (like Christians) without learning about the situation.  I think that in some areas, Christians don't necessarily have a bad reputation, but there are definitely areas in the world today where they do, and I blame this on ignorance.  Some things have changed quite a bit since Tertullian's time, however. I know there are still areas where Christians are persecuted because of their faith, but in many parts of the world, people are allowed to practice whatever religion they want.  They may receive a bit of mocking or judgment from those around them, but in a lot of areas (like the United States), the government is not going to punish a person for his or her religion.