August 30th marked the first day of classes for the 2012 Concordia University, St. Paul school year, and to commemorate, the Festival of Beginnings was hosted in the Buetow Auditorium. It began with the triumphant hymn "A Mighty Fortress is our God," which represents the theme of the year: "God is our refuge and our strength," which comes from Psalm 46. President Ries shared different translations of the words "refuge" and "strength" in all different languages, which not only gave the terms deeper meaning, but stressed the importance of last year's theme "We are ALL God's People." He explored the contrasts between refuge and strength. He defined refuge as the safe places that God provides in times of need, and strength as the courage that God gives us when a refuge is not an appropriate solution to the problem at hand. 

Even though the implied environment was school, the theme of the year can be applied to almost any situation at all. It was interesting to think of refuge and strength as two different options that God uses according to the situation. He knows which best suits the need at the time. When times are safe and easy, he is offering a refuge - a safe place, but when times are tough, he gives strength. It was interesting to see last year's theme seep into this message - to know that it's not forgotten now that it's in the past, but something continually applicable to each new year, but also to see the way that they relate. This idea of increasing unity throughout the school is tough. Groups have been separated into their own safe places, and it takes strength and courage from the Lord to step out and break down those walls. 

Personally, I've been a nervous, anxious wreck ever since school started up again. It's mostly just because of all of the change. It's as though I've come from a refuge (safe at home, familiar routine), and into a place with a new routine, different work, and new challenges. This is a time for strength, not refuge. If God were to provide me with a refuge, it wouldn't grow at all. I would just stay in the same safe place, never learning anything or getting better at anything. Now I just need the strength to accomplish everything that I have piled on my plate. 
Today, the Concordia St. Paul Golden Bears football team played against St. Mary's Marauders - the first home game of the season. This was also the big debut for the CSP Pep Band, which hasn't been in action for the past 5 years. It was a close game, but in the end, the Golden Bears lost 26-32. However, the game was still time well spent. There was a huge turn-out, as the CSP bleachers were filled with fans spurred on to enthusiasm by the pep band and the drum line. Even though the Bears lost, the CSP students never failed to cheer on their classmates. All around, it was an event about camaraderie. 

To organize a pep band at CSP is a big step in breaking down social boundaries. Music students come to cheer on athletes - two student groups that don't usually mix. Instead of "athletes" versus "everyone else" (as some have labeled the social groups), the entire school came together and was "Concordia University" versus "St. Mary's." Ideally, this is just one step towards becoming a more unified student body. It would be inspiring to see this continue to happen, and perhaps for this phenomenon to swing both ways. Perhaps more athletes will attend music events and other things. It's great to talk about such things, but it all comes down to individuals doing their part in making it happen.

I personally am pumped up about this idea. I want to know my whole school - not just the groups that I'm a part of. I'm never going to be an athlete, but that doesn't mean that I can't be friends with athletes. I have no idea how we became so separated as a school; it was just already like that by the time I came here. I am eager to do my part, but I don't entirely know what my part is. It's so easy for me to extend my friendliness and hospitality when I am in a comfortable environment with the type of people that I am used to. Band? Choir? Church? No problem! But anywhere else I feel like a fish out of water. How can I welcome someone if I am on their territory? So I guess my first step is to determine a plan of action, and I'd better get started soon! 

unChristian? Hmmm...

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I am excited to be able to write this now, in my own format, before I have to use the D.I.E. format. Not that I have anything wrong with the D.I.E. format, as it can be very useful for keeping my blogs concise and it acts well as a guiding structure when I am trying to write a blog in a short amount of time. But every now and then I enjoy the freedom to express my thoughts in my own way and my own structure. In this case, I am blogging about the summer reading for Honors: UnChristian, What a new generation really thinks about Christianity, and why it matters, and I wanted to discuss the order of reactions that I experienced while reading it. 

Indignation was my initial response to the views about Christianity represented in the statistics. Hypocritical and judgmental? What an outrage! Where do these people get off just naturally assuming that we are judgmental because of our faith? And what kind of sense does that even make? It is absolutely judgmental to just assume that I am judgmental because I am a Christian, and not to mention absolutely hypocritical, as they're calling us that, too. Oh and out of touch with reality? They will be experiencing a huge dose of reality at Jesus' second coming. Yeah, their tongues will confess and their knees will bow, and they'll regret ever checking the "out of touch with reality" box on that survey. Not accepting of other faiths? Pfft well they don't accept our faith either, so they can get off their high horses about that. I was just so offended and irritated to hear these things. I so badly wish I could retaliate, even though I shouldn't. 

As soon as I was able to move past my outburst of anger, I transitioned smoothly into denial. Antihomosexual? Yeah not me. This chapter is about the other Christians that are antihomosexual. I have a really good friend from work that is gay. We get along just fine, and I even am there to support him through his relationship problems. So yeah, I am totally not the target for this message. Next! Judgmental? No no no that's not me. I remember in high school, all of my friends had a pot-smoking phase at some point. One of the friends in the group decided to reprimand the others, only to end up doing it herself. Hah, well that wasn't me. I remember saying something along the lines of, "I'm not going to ever do it with you, and I don't particularly like that you guys do it, but I still love you guys and I'm still friends with you, and I'll always be here for you." My best friend was able to come to me when she wanted to quit, and we talked and prayed and it was a great thing. So there. Take that. Not judgmental. I'm supportive and loving. Then there's sheltered. Yeah I don't think that's me. My brother likes to drink with his friends in our basement, and I hang out with them when they do it. So I've been around that scene plenty, and I actually get along with them just fine when they're drunk. In fact, my brother once said, "It's weird. You get along with us just fine when we're drunk, even though you're sober." So not only am I not sheltered, but I can get along just fine with people that sin differently than I do. I'm not a bigot by any means, so this book is definitely written to all of those other Christians that are. 

Shortly after I had all of these thoughts, I returned back to earth safely. This was the reevaluation stage, when I got off the horse and back onto the ground where I belong. I may not march around carrying offensive signs about homosexuality, or reject my friends when they take up adverse hobbies, but I've made my fair share of judgmental comments. I'm also sure that I have made negative comments regarding homosexuality at some points in my life, before recognizing that, yes, that's sin. It's just different sin than mine. And honestly, so what if I've hung out with my brother and his friends when they're getting plastered. Big whoop. There are still plenty of other compromising situations that I've never seen or felt. There really is much in this life that I have been kept (or sheltered, I guess) from. I haven't seen it all, so I can just shut my little trap. 

Don't get me wrong - the views represented by the surveys in this book really rub me the wrong way, and I'm still upset that those are automatically my titles. Some I deserve, and some I may not deserve quite as much. Either way, if I'm not accepting fault, then I am absolutely living up to the definition they created for me. And if I'm in denial, then I will never improve. And it's not so much that there's anything extremely wrong with the way that I am now, but I'm not interested in staying exactly the same forever. 
Last Tuesday, April 24th, Concordia St. Paul had its 11th annual Poehler Lecture. Instead of having a single speaker, the lecture was given as a team by brothers Rev. Dr. Tomas Trapp and Dr. Dale Trapp. There was an interesting dichotomy of subjects as Rev. Dr. Tomas Trapp teaches in the theology department, and Dr. Dale Trapp teaches in the science department. Their title was "Head to Head! Heart to Heart!" The two brothers took turns talking and discussing different aspects of "the academic pursuit" which all universities have, and "the spiritual pursuit" which is special to Christian universities. They each played to their strengths - Rev. Dr. Tomas Trapp shared much of what he says to the students that take his classes. Similarly, Dr. Dale Trapp shared some demonstrations with magnetism, and showed a slideshow of life as it stretches from the smallest unit of life to the entire universe. Both of the brothers were sharing the best of what they know, as if to show how science and faith meld together, not oppose each other as the world knows them to. 

This was a nice trip all the way back to last semester when we talked about the way that we have a conscious level of thought processing (reason and knowledge) and a subconscious level of thought processing (spiritual and emotional). The contrast and comparison of science and faith represented at the Poehler Lecture fits nicely into this framework. If science and faith are interwoven, it fits peacefully without conflict. We understand science with our mental reasoning and capacity, and we understand faith with our heart. That isn't to say that there is no reasoning within faith, but it just represents the two sides of the spectrum. 

The two brothers each play to their strengths, but understand a fair amount of each other's strength. I feel myself stretched between two worlds. Rev. Dr. Thomas Trapp is able to apply both his mental processing and emotional processing to his faith. I initially saw myself heading in this direction as I was going to be a Theology Major as well as a Music Major. This semester, however, has made me realize that I would rather apply my mental capacities to Music and my emotional capacity to theology. I am still going to have a minor in Biblical studies, which engages the mental capacity, but the primary function of theology is deeper than what I can learn from a book. Meanwhile, music is, by standard, an emotional thing, but it is for music that I am inspired to wake my mind up in learning music theory and writing music and learning how to read music and play instruments. So I feel like I have my own mini Trapp Brother complex, only in the context of music and theology instead of science and theology. 

What's your finale?

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Last Thursday I went to go see Concordia St. Paul's performance of the musical Pippin. The story was of a young man that wanted to find his "corner of the sky." His father was a king who loved battle and war. Pippin was the educated type, and never had any experience with fighting, but he wanted to try it, figuring that if his father so enjoyed it, it could bring him the fulfillment he was looking for. So he went to battle with his father and won, but he felt awful afterward for what he had done to his opponents. He decided he wanted to take his father's place as king, but after realizing how hard it was to be the king, he resigned, feeling like a failure. He met a widow, Catherine, and her son Theo, who took him in and asked him for help around her home. At first he was resistant to the idea, but when Theo was upset about his sick duck, Pippin helped out by praying for him (although his duck died anyway). At this point he began to feel attached to Catherine and Theo. The whole time, however, the Leading Player had been acting as an antagonist, trying to steer him away from Catherine and Theo, and trying to get him to be "great" and "wonderful" by fighting in wars and trying to become the king. In the end, the Leading Player convinces him to leave Catherine and Theo to try to get him to participate in a great finale. She tries to coax him into believing that it will fulfill his deep desires, but to no avail. In the end he chooses Catherine and Theo over trying to find his "corner in the sky." 

This relates so directly to what we have been talking about in Honors. Pippin wanting to find his "corner in the sky" is much like us wanting to find our "God-given calling." The Leading Player has the role of the antagonist. Her attempts to lead him astray mimic the role of Satan as the antagonist in our lives. Ultimately, Pippin's "corner of the sky" was simply to be a husband and a father for Catherine and Theo. It was the thing that brought him the most joy and truly met the needs of others, which is what we have been learning in our Honors class to be the description of a calling. This perhaps reflects that in our lives our callings are a lot more simple than they seem. Satan tries to distract us from our true purpose as Christians by glamorizing the idea that our callings should be exciting and extravagant. In Galatians 5:14, Paul writes, "For the whole law is fulfilled in one word: 'You shall love your neighbor as yourself.'" If that is the greatest responsibility then perhaps when deciphering our callings, we should focus on the way that we are best equipped to love and serve others. There's no need to complicate and embellish it. 

This is great news to me. I say all of this functioning within the realm that vocation and occupation are separate. I am not sure what my occupation will be, but I can know that my vocation is to love and serve others. In order to do so, I need to analyze in which ways I am best suited to do this. I feel that my best way to contribute is to counsel and support my friends through the trials of life and through tough decisions. Someday I hope to be married and be a good wife and a good mother, and I have said this before. I am excited to write music and do whatever else I may do with my life to earn money, but in my life now my relationships are what bring me the most satisfaction in life. I don't feel that any occupation will ever satisfy the joy that I have in maintaining relationships, and I feel that to focus my best energies on the people God puts in my life is truly the most rewarding calling I could possibly ask for. I think some people find their satisfaction in serving others within their occupation - a doctor helps patients, or an accountant helps people with their taxes. For me, the best way I can help others is in a more personal and relational way, which is why I see myself having an occupation separate from my calling.  
A few of the readings for the Honors class a couple weeks ago were written by John Wesley, an original member of the Methodist church. Pastors would refuse to let him preach in their churches, but he would just go preach to the poor in the fields. One particular sermon that we read for Honors was written by John Wesley, called "Sermon on the Mount-8" based on Matthew 6:19-21. This part of the sermon on the mount speaks to not laying up earthly treasures for ourselves. He discusses what is and what isn't okay. Since it is a command from Christ to not reserve anything for ourselves, we as Christians very specifically should not do so. However, he says we are not forbidden to provide for ourselves and our families in order to satisfy our needs. All of the instances where earning a profit is acceptable are laid out so that by knowing these, we can determine whether or not a particular behavior in regard to money is acceptable. Essentially, the ideal that John Wesley implores is one in which we have no earthly possession other than what is absolutely necessary for life. 

Even though from John Wesley's perspective, this ideal is entirely possible, I kind of find myself questioning if it is attainable in a broken world like this. For that I imagine a hypothetical situation of trying to survive in America with as little as possible. First, I would find a job that pays minimum wage (or lower, if possible). I would then have to find housing at the lowest cost. But then, perhaps this housing has mold in it that will negatively affect my health. Is that, then, cause to spend more on better housing that will be better for my life? It is necessary, here, to distinguish between how to scrape by at bare minimum and how to live life to its fullest, regardless of material wealth. I also question the validity of having only what is required for survival as the best way of life. For example, if a Christian only has possessions that are necessary for life, then he or she has nothing to give to those that are in need, because if he or she loses anything he or she already has, then he or she will not have enough to live. Whereas if one has excess wealth, one can share that excess wealth with those less fortunate. 

Personally, I wish I could live in a world where I didn't feel bogged down by a false sense of necessity for things that really aren't necessities. But I think that is precisely the problem - it is not wrong to have more than we need, it is wrong to need more than we need. Currently I have more than I need, but I am not concerned about it. I enjoy the things that I have in excess with which I have been blessed. There is more to God's creation than eating and sleeping and simply surviving. He has given us art and music and community and athletics and all kinds of ways to enjoy life and enjoy community with God. I almost think it's unfair to limit God's will for us to a routine that includes only what is "necessary." The problem is when we consider our gifts as necessities. In that case, we are taking our blessings for granted and living under a sense of entitlement. We are also adding worry and fear to things that were not intended to be involved with worry or fear. We are to live our lives with our necessities in check, and our joys fulfilled. 
Last Wednesday the convocation was cancelled, and so we had an opportunity to attend an event on Thursday instead. I wasn't told much about the event before hand, so I wasn't sure what to expect. I knew it was an activity and that it had something to do with diversity. The activity was held in a classroom - all the students sat in three different circles of chairs. We were told at the beginning that where we were sitting then didn't matter much. We were going to play a game that involved trading chips. Each color of chip had a different value, and there were different combinations of chip colors that would add up (for example, a blue chip was worth 2 points, but if someone had 5 blue chips, the total was 16). During each round of trading, two people would lock hands, and negotiate a trade. We weren't allowed to leave each other until we had agreed upon a trade, and we weren't allowed to trade a chip for an equal chip. Once the trading round was over, we recorded our scores based off of our highest five chips, and were separated into three separate groups: triangles, circles, and squares. Triangles were the lowest and squares were the highest. We then had a round where in our groups, we had 3 chips each worth 3 points, and we were to decide, unanimously, who in our group would get them. My group (the circles) flipped for it. Then we repeated the two rounds, shifting into different groups as appropriate according to our scores. The squares formed a clique really quickly, and when someone new moved up, they would vote the new member out. I started to notice that the woman running the game was showing some partiality to the squares, and this suspicion was confirmed when she announced that since the squares were doing so well, they would now be allowed to change whatever rules they saw fit. When she announced this, the triangles and circles (which I was still a part of) formed one big group. We were allowed to send suggestions for rules to the squares, but we decided to wait and see what the squares were already planning. The squares decided that their new rules were going to be that we had to trade with them whatever they wanted, and it quickly escalated to anarchy. We circles and triangles devised a plan to not win them over - we were going to be "stuck" in trades among ourselves so that they could not force us to trade. This round was awful - the squares forcibly took our chips away from us. After that trading round, the squares decided that the game was over. 

This was an up-close depiction of how society works today. Not all aspects are entirely accurate (for example, each round began with the random selection of new chips. In real life, hand outs are not doled out to everyone evenly), but it is a loose interpretation. Initially I thought that our scores represented money, but halfway through I began to realize that they really represented status. For the first half of the game, I was trying to be strategic. I didn't even care so much about being on the top - I immediately felt like it was a simulation of real life, and I just wanted to comfortably exist in the middle. Once the privileged squares were able to change the rules to their desires, though, I realized that the game was no longer about winning. Our groups were already established and they weren't going to change: it was the haves versus the have-nots, and I was a have-not. When I was approached to be raided by a square, I stood up and said that it was still a game of trade - they hadn't changed that rule, and so they had to at least give me something in return for what they took. I didn't realize at first why I was so adamant about this, since I was clearly not going to become a square and move up in the world. Then it dawned on me that the game was about power and pride, not about the material wealth of chips. This makes me think of the passage in James 2 where James talks about the sin of partiality. He warns against giving the good seat to the rich and the bad seat to the poor. Realistically this doesn't make any sense - what does it matter how much money someone has? The only reason this is a problem is because wealth and status go hand-in-hand. 

I then consider my position in real life. I feel like my position in the game was reflective of reality. I was in the middle, and I just wanted to stay in the middle. I was more concerned about the community that I was building within the group than with winning a game. I even felt myself thinking, "Well sure the squares are winning, but there are only five of them, and everyone else is going to dislike them because they are so exclusive." I, in real life, am only concerned about money to an extent. I rely on it in order to pay for the things that are essential to my life - food and shelter. I, of course, also use what extra I have for frivolous things. However, what I am most concerned about in my life is the relationships that I have with other people, and often times the way that I like to use money is to facilitate these relationships. For example, instead of just meeting up with a friend, I will meet up with a friend for coffee. I wouldn't buy that cup of coffee if it wasn't for the purpose of spending time with someone. Or I pay for the gas that I use to drive myself over to a friend's house. To me, building relationships is more worth my worry and concern than money or status. I wonder, however, if in real life I became either a triangle or a square, though, if any of that would change. If I were to lose all of my money, how badly would I care? Would I still hang onto my high value of relationships and my low value of material possessions? I can't say, but if it happens someday, I will think back to this blog and probably write something new about it. 
One of our readings this past week was from Ignatius of Loyola. This reading was called, "The Spiritual Exercises." It is a very succinct guide to decision-making. Ignatius starts by writing that it is crucial, in any decision-making process, to remember the end, which is to give glory to the Lord. Any option being weighed in any decision is simply a means to that end, and the object is to choose whichever option is the best means by which the end is achieved. He then differentiates between types of choices, describes all of the occasions in which a decision may possibly need to be made, and then gives two sets of instructions for how to best think through these decisions. In his conclusion, he mentions that if anyone is not currently in a position in which he or she needs to make a decision, he or she should then evaluate his or her current life and consider possible improvements that could be made and decided through the decision-making processes he suggested in this piece. 

This text applies so directly to Christians today; Ignatius is pretty clear about it. It's interesting then, to evaluate how this may apply to non-Christians - particular the concept that the choice made in a decision is just a means to an end. It makes me wonder, for those who do not have the Lord, what are their ends to which they find a means? It can also be taken to a smaller level: "What am I going to do with my evening?" If the end is to have an enjoyable Friday night, the outcome of the decision will be a lot different than if the end is to be productive. So then indecisiveness, perhaps, could be said to be born of indifference. 

Frankly, for my own personal vocation I feel that this text will be useful someday, but it is not yet relevant to where I am, as I do not believe it is the best source for all decisions to be made. Right now, the only decisions I need to be making seem much simpler: "I will work at Help Desk over the summer to make more money." Sure, my goal may ultimately be to praise God with what I do, but in terms of my more specific vocation, I have no idea what I will be doing with my life. So in that way, I don't know how each of my steps can lead up to that particular part of my life. I do not know what kind of an occupation I will have once I graduate. I am relying on God to provide that opportunity for me - and perhaps multiple options will be given to me, and I will have to choose between them, but for now, my only decision to make is what to study here at Concordia. And while I am without knowledge of my future, I have no way of knowing how to best structure my class schedule to suit that. So I can only hope that the desires that the Lord has put in my heart will lead me there. 
For part of our reading this past week in Honors, we had to read two letters written by Bernard of Clairvaux. He was a very influential member in the Cistercian order. He wrote many letters, but the two we read were meant to reprimand. The first was sent to a man, Walter de Chaumont, who stayed home to care for his mother rather than go off to join the monastery. The second was written to a young man named Fulk, who had previously been a part of the monastery but left, after being persuaded by his uncle.Bernard of Clairvaux writes from the perspective that the monastic life is the only means by which one can achieve salvation. He makes a lot of scripture references, many of which are misinterpreted or taken out of context. The writer, of course, lived too early to read anything Martin Luther had to say about the grace of God. ;) 

One of the points that Bernard of Clairvaux uses is, "For he who said, 'Honor your father and mother' (Matt. 15:4) also said, 'He who loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me,' (Matt. 10:37)." I found myself getting enraged at this man, wishing to throw Matthew 25:40 at him, which says, "the King will answer them, 'Truly, I say to you, as you did it to one of the least of these my brothers, you did it to me,'" or in Galatians 5:13-14, where Paul writes,"For you were called to freedom, brothers. Only do not use your freedom as an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another. For the whole law is fulfilled in one word: 'You shall love your neighbor as yourself.'" This was only an example of his taking scripture out of context, but there are also places where he misquotes and takes it out of context! In his letter to Fulk, he says, "Beware, I say, my son, that you do not confer with flesh and blood (Gal. 1:16), for 'My sword shall devour flesh' (Deut.32:42)." I'm currently taking a class that studies Galatians and James in depth, so the reference to Galatians 1:16 stood out to me immediately, since I knew what was going on in this passage. The full verse begins in verse 15 and goes through 16, which says, "But when he who had set me apart before I was born, and who called me by his grace, was pleased to reveal his Son to me, in order that I might preach him among the gentiles, I did not immediately consult with anyone." In some earlier translations, "flesh and blood" is used instead of "anyone," but even still, the point of the passage is to establish Paul's credibility as the source of the gospel that he preaches is a divine revelation from the Lord. The purpose was not to declare flesh and blood as evil to confer with - it was just to explain where he got the gospel! What is the value in neglecting the needs of those in the world to read the Bible and pray if he is just going to misinterpret it and use it to judge and condemn people. He is defeating the purpose! 

And here I find myself arguing with a man that died centuries ago. While I feel that it is a noble cause to argue against such a distortion of the good news that Christ brought to us, I would be nothing better than that distortion if I chose to use a tone of condemnation in writing my response. So while I relinquish my judgment, I still have inquiries. I am resting in my faith that Christ's sacrifice has declared me justified before the eyes of the Lord - and there is nothing I have done to attain this, and nothing I can do can separate me from it. So then my first instinct is to believe that this is the same for Bernard of Clairvaux - Christ's sacrifice declares him justified. The part I question is whether or not Bernard had the faith through which one is saved by grace. The way he lived his life made it clear that he still believed he needed to perform certain works in order to accomplish his salvation - does this structure of belief separate him from the grace of God? If so, is he currently suffering the condemnation that he spoke upon others in his letters? Not so because he gave such judgments, but because of the beliefs he held which led him to do so. 

A Chasing after the Wind

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Last Wednesday, we Honors students were able to have dinner with JoBe Cerny. He started out by talking about his success and the means by which he arrived at it. He then invited us to share some of our dreams, so that we could help process and develop ideas for making them happen. This quickly morphed into another Q&A session, in which students asked questions seemingly to give Mr. Cerny continuing opportunities to talk about himself and all of the great things he's done. He gave a lot of very quotable tips that I wrote down in my notebook, like, "Think of ways you can make it happen," "Sometimes in my dream state I find my answers," or "You have to think bigger dreams." He also talked a lot about his daily life - six hours of sleep on average, with 16 hour work days. (Interestingly, this leaves two hours of free time every day...) Overall, our dinner was, for the most part, a testimony from Mr. Cerny of how to create your own success.

One of the first things that JoBe Cerny said was, "I hadn't planned on doing what I do." Upon hearing him say this, I was super excited to hear about the role that God might have potentially played in terms of his own plans versus the plans of the Lord. I was quickly disappointed to see that he was still going on to talk about his own successes and his own means by which these successes were accomplished. He made little or no mention of the role of God in his life, which therefore renders me skeptical of the value of these great accomplishments. One of my favorite Bible verses, Proverbs 3:5-6 says, "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understandings. In all your ways, acknowledge him and he will make your paths straight." Based on the dinner that we had with JoBe, it seems to me that he would rather trust himself than the Lord, and lean on his own understandings and answers and plans. It was very clear that instead of acknowledging God, he just wanted to acknowledge himself. I don't have the authority to speak to whether his paths are straight or not, but I can sense sort of a pattern in the application of this verse. 

I initially felt myself buying into the things he was saying. It can be recognized by the fact that I actually wrote down some of the things that he said. But as the evening wore on, I found myself thinking, "what is my biggest dream?" and most honestly, I found myself answering, "I want to be a wife and a mother." This doesn't mean that I want to quit school and get married right away, because I also believe that having a firm education and a job because of it will aid in those two things. The point is, JoBe held his worldly success with such high regard, while I found myself zoning out, wondering why he cares so much about the things he does. It all made me think of Ecclesiastes, where Solomon writes of all his successes, and then describes them as "a chasing after the wind." This is exactly what I feel about the things JoBe talked about. And I couldn't personally fathom choosing a life of 6 hours of sleep every night and 16 hours of work every day. It doesn't matter what I would be doing, because I would hate my life, and I don't want to live a life that I hate. It so profusely contrasts what I believe to be one of the most beautiful philosophies of life, as stated in Ecclesiastes 8:15, which says, "So I commend the enjoyment of life, for there is nothing better for a man under the sun than to eat and drink and be glad." 

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