Erin Rudolph

I first played with the idea of going to Israel back in the fall, when I attended the convocation that the 2011 team did. I mainly attended the convocation to support my friends that were in it, but the outcome was entirely different. As I listened to their stories, something else began to happen: a slow, burning desire to visit Israel the next year started to grow in my heart. Knowing that money is currently very tight in my family, and that it probably wasn't the most logical thing to do, I signed up for information about the trip on a whim. You know, just to keep my options open.

Over the coming months, I had many talks with Dr. Schuler about the possibility of going. My main issues were my safety and the financial aspect of the trip. My dad has been unemployed since last May, and my mom, being a teacher, doesn't get a paycheck in the summer, and I knew that I had to really prepare financially in order to survive my 5th year at an expensive university. Logically, it would be better to get a summer job and earn money. But there was something inside me that would not let me be content with that. Like a siren song, Israel was calling.

So I spent a lot of time in prayer. I just wanted God to make things clear in this regard. Looking back on my year now, it's funny to see how many signs He put in my path to tell me what to do. My literature seminar class was all about literature from the Middle East. I took to learning Koine Greek like a duck to water. I have relatives who had been on the dig before, and who come from that area of the world. And yet, my logical brain was not satisfied. I feel foolish in admitting that I actually pulled a Gideon and asked God to give me a sign via rain the next day if I was supposed to go (for the record, yes, it did rain). The week before the applications were due, I prayed even more earnestly for God to show me. That same day, at least five of my friends asked me if I had decided about Israel yet. And to top it all off, my Pandora station, which usually gives me advertisements for engagement rings, played this one really random ad about visiting the Middle East. It was at that point that I had the following conversation with God.

Me: "You really want me to go to Israel, don't you?"

God: "Yup. You need to go. It's where you're needed this summer."
Me: "Well, will I be safe?"
God: "Have you already forgotten that I'm always with you? Of COURSE you're going to be safe."
Me: "But what about the cost? You know money is tight already in my family. Are you going to pay for this trip."

God: *exasperated sigh*  "Would you just sign up already?!"

Me: "Ok, ok, sheesh, chill out already."

God: "You let me worry about the big stuff, OK? My plans for you include things that you need to learn on this trip. So go!"

So I signed up the next day. I talked to my mom about my financial worries, and she told me: "It's a once in a lifetime opportunity. I think you'll regret it if you don't go." So I went. And since I signed up, some wonderful things have fallen into place. Extra grant money has come in. My airfare was cheaper than expected. I've gotten donations from so many people already. And I even get to go over a week early to attend an archaeological conference! So I'm starting to get really excited, partly because I get to spend time in the actual Biblical places I have read about, studied, and imagined for my whole life, and partly because being an "archaeologist" gives me an excuse to dress and act like River Song from Doctor Who. 

In any case, I need a break from my normal life, and since summer is usually the time when I gain some sort of new perspective on life, we'll see what happens in Israel.

*ponders thoughtfully*

Last night was the last time my Honors class, the Gammas, got together. All of us (sans Phil, since he took Capstone a year early. But he was with us in spirit.) went to O'Garas, an Irish pub on the corner of Selby and Snelling to just kind of hang out and talk about our "life plans" with Professor Williams. So even though most of us don't really have set life plans, we all kind of know where our gifts and passions lie. 

It was bittersweet. We were all relieved to finally be done with Honors, but we really didn't like leaving each other. Even though we're all so different, we're all really comfortable with each other and talk and hang out like old friends. Which we kind of are. In our Poehler lecture discussions, Dr. Dale Trapp said that we need to hang around people who we want to be like, because we take pieces of those people with us always. That's kind of what we, the Gammas, did. Sure, we're not the favorite "children"  who get to go to Rome for their capstone with Dr. Schuler (*coughDeltascough*), but we're still special to each other. These are the moments that I will remember and cherish from Honors. In his song "Little Wonders," Rob Thomas says:

       "Our lives are made in these small hours, these little wonders, these twists and turns of

So, to Danielle, Felicia, Sarah, Heather, Anna, Josie, Jessie, Phil, and Brian - I toast you. If any of our paths happen to cross again, let's meet up for coffee or a drink of something. 

Mazel tov!

1. An Epsilon or Zeta class member who was told by Mrs. Dr. Schuler that my blog was both a wonderful and snarky example of how required Honors blogs should look.
2. Mr. or Mrs. Dr. Schuler, feeling nostalgic and reliving old times.
3. Any other former Honors student who is also feeling nostalgic.
4. A potential Honors student trying to decide if Honors is the right choice for you (YES. IT IS. DO IT.)
5. Another visitor who does not fit any of the aforementioned categories.

No matter who you might be, I would just like to say...Hello. How are you? I'm fine, thank you so much for asking. Welcome to my Honors blog, written mostly between August 2008 and June 2010.

I apologize in advance for any bad grammar; if I remember right, I was probably sleep deprived most of the time whilst writing.

In any case, feel free to take a look around and enjoy my snarky, occasionally belligerent, thoughts. I'm a senior now, and will soon be leaving the Honors world, but if you have any questions at all, feel free to ask. I might explain...but, then again, Honors is about figuring things out for yourself...hmmm...

Allons-y!

Really, I did not know what to expect from Honors. No one seemed to know what it was, even my admissions counselor. I'm still not quite sure what it is. My band director may have said it best when I explained it to him: "So it's basically like a super-humanities course, then?" Yes, Prof. Isaakson, that's kind of what it was. But it was also so much more. It became family. True, there were times where I complained...broke down...fell into despair because it consumed my life...but in the end, it was worth it. In a way, this last blog is kind of a thank you letter to various people...

To Professor Rock, Maggie, and all the girls at EAG: this project pushed me in so many ways, but I suppose it was good for me, no matter how much it hurt. Maggie, you helped teach me one of the most valuable lessons a person can learn: to learn from the rejection and work even harder! Thank you for pushing me.

To all of the guest professors we have had these past two years: it was truly enjoyable to learn from all of you, although some things *cough statistics cough* were out of my league. Under normal circumstances, I most likely would never have had many of you for a professor; each of you had something different to teach and I enjoyed all of the different perspectives I saw.

To Papa and Mama Schuler: wow...where do I even begin? The two of you are the Honors program. Even though I've probably spent way too much time with the two of you these past two years, I have (mostly) enjoyed every minute of it. Papa, when I first applied for Honors I remember you telling me that the Honors kids became like a family, and that was true; little did I know that the two of you would become to center of it. I think one of the things that I struggled with the most was being taught to think "out of the box" one semester, and then spend the next semester being put back into that box and kind of re-learning everything I had learned the previous semester. Even though that was very painful and frustrating, it has made me put a lot more thought and effort into how I view the world. Both of you have really been an inspiration to me; I believe you are the only two teachers I have ever had who I have felt completely comfortable being a bit snarky with, both in writing and in person. :) I will miss both of you...until capstone, that is...muwhahahaha, you can't get rid of me THAT easily!

To Danielle: I remember first reading your blog the summer before freshman year and being like, "That girl likes music and camp! We're going to be best friends!" And guess what...we are. (Even though I might have creeped you out a bit when I told you that you looked like Ashley Tisdale.) You are a wonderful roommate, study-buddy, dish-dryer, listener...when one or both of us were freaking out about something (usually either camp or Honors related) we support each other, and you have no idea what that means to me. Sorry if you regret me talking you out of quitting Honors last year...but honestly, I wouldn't have made it without you. .."Lean on me, when you're not strong, I'll be your friend, I'll help you carry on, for it won't be long till I'm gonna need somebody to lean on..."

To Heather: You and your sarcasm and Hispanic-ness and randomness make my life. You have (truly) opened my eyes to a lot of the global epicness in life, even though in some ways you are whiter than sour cream. I always enjoy hearing your stories about La Op and Lake Street and your hippies on the bridge. Also, thank you for doing some things with my project this year...more than anyone else, it was you who really helped pick me up when I felt at the end of my rope with that. I will miss you and all of your random snarkiness next spring when you're away being all Costa Rican and stuff, until we get to be roomies senior year. But well, whatever, I can watch movies on Pay-per-View whenever I close my eyes, and I invented air, so every time you breathe you owe me ten cents, just so though... 

To Phil: For the last time...no, I don't hate you. I just enjoy giving you crap because you can both take it and dish it back to me. I love how we give each other updates on the Twins games during Honors. (I TOLD you they would sign Joe Mauer! HA!)

To the rest of my fellow Gammas, Anna, Josie, Sarah, Jessie, Felicia, and Brian: WE DID IT! You guys really have become family. Although we all might go separate ways, each and every one of you guys are going to do something amazing. I'm dead serious...if any of you guys ever need anything, let me know, and I'll do the best I can to help. Gammas fo-eva!

To the Deltas (Anna, Jackie, Kyle, David, Jay, Daniel and Carrie): I have gotten to know so many of you so well. Never before in Honors history have two classes bonded together so closely. Each of you are so different from one another, but despite all of your individual quirks you're all amazing. I regret not actually having a "smack-down" with Kyle that last class period, but it's still been pretty fun (even though we all know I would have won that anyway... :D). It's been awesome to "mentor" you guys. If you ever need any advice for next year, let me know. Good luck...you're going to need it...muwhahahahahaha 

And finally, to the One who gave it all: You are my everything. Thank You so much for being there by my side throughout these two years in Honors. Through Honors, you have taught me so much about Your everlasting love. I look forward to following You wherever You lead me these next years. :)

Well...I guess that about says it all. Even though some of us are now going to split ways, you have all left footprints on my heart. No matter how far we go, we'll always be an Honors family...And now, since I'm an English major, I think I'm going to let one of my favorite authors, JRR Tolkien, have the final word. God bless you all!

Love, Erin 

 The Road goes ever on and on

So this is my last Callings blog...to quote Monty Python, "And there was much rejoicing." All I have to say about this last week's reading is: 

That is what I have to say about this weeks' reading. The author, George Fox, was certifiably nuts. Honestly. This guy was eventually the founder of the Quaker religion, and believed that only  "the Inner Light of the living Christ provides a reliable guide to religious truth" (294). Basically, he believed that he received visions directly from God, which is quite obvious from his journal.

Reading the excerpt from his journal was a bit like what I imagine being on an LSD trip would be like. I mean, he's hearing voices and seeing blood pouring out in the streets of Lichfield. The latter example was the weirdest part of the whole thing. I mean, Fox had been in jail for a while for his beliefs, and from what I've heard, medieval prisons were not the best place to spend a few years of your life. So basically, once he gets out of jail, sees the steeples of the churches in Lichfield and suddenly feels God calling him there. So he goes there, and is compelled by God to give his shoes to some shepherds outside of the city even though it's winter. Fox then basically runs through the streets of Lichfield crying "WOE TO THE BLOODY CITY OF LICHFIELD!" (that's a direct quote from p. 299, by the way). The town people are basically looking at him like he's a few fries short of a happy meal, and asking him where his shoes are. Fox then leaves the city, goes back to the shepherds, gives them some money and - this is the kicker - he takes his shoes back. I mean seriously, what kind of guy would do that? Wouldn't he trust the Lord to provide for him? Those poor shepherds probably needed the shoes more than he did. But still...there is absolutely no explaination as to why he did this. We aren't given any sort of history as to why he felt like running through the streets of Lichfield yelling (literally) bloody murder. Like I said earlier...he might have been just a little bit high on something or other...

Ok, I get that religious freedom wasn't really England's deal at the time. I get it, really I do. I mean, I agree with Fox that the Church isn't a building full of white, middle class men - it's everybody, all believers. But still...if I had seen Fox, I would have written him off as a loony. Honestly, he might have liked the religious freedom in America. I mean, at first he would have possibly loved the fact that one can worshiped however one wanted to; however, he probably would have started trying to convert everyone else as well, and I don't think people would like that very much. Instead of being one of the sole dissenters in religiously pressing government, he would have been one single voice, lost in a sea of opposing religious views. Perhaps that's why it's a bit hard to "convert" people in America today; every single religious group is shouting a slightly different message. Today's post-modern culture also has something to do with it, I think. Instead of proclaiming Jesus Christ as THE ONLY way to salvation, it most often comes across as Jesus is a way to get to salvation; if He's not your style, there are plenty of other ways to get there that might suit your fancy. Of course, that's all a bunch of nonsense,  but it's what's happening, whether we like it or not. American's seem to go at religion like Old Country Buffet; they simply pick and choose which pieces of which religion they like. Which is another reason why the message of Christianity is so hard to successfully "market" in today's society. Which is kind of sad. Everyone is afraid of offending somebody else, even though we're in a Burger King "Have it your way" kind of culture. But really, Christians shouldn't be afraid to offend. After all...Jesus wasn't afraid to offend people with the truth.

This Wesley is actually a guy named John Wesley who (along with his group of friends) came to be known as "Methodists" because they approached religious observances...well, rather methodically. Sometime after an unsuccessful missionary trip his heart was "strangely warmed" (and no, it was not from participating in the Buffalo Wild Wings Blazin' Challenge), and he started preaching. The social classes that the Church of England ignored loved Wesley. He never "officially" broke away from the Anglicans, but really he did, and basically became the father of the Methodist church.

Anyway, in his Sermon 28: Sermon on the Mount-8, (another imaginative title), he chooses to focus on Matthew 6:19-21; you know, that whole bit about not storing up treasures in heaven. Anyway, one of the first things Wesley does is list the things that the verse does NOT forbid:

This radical idea of saving up money obviously goes against today's money obsessed culture. Granted, it's not a crime nor a sin to be rich (but that's another argument that I'm not getting into here), but you shouldn't be spending money just to spend money. In today's world, simply providing for your family takes a lot more money than it did in the past; there are new clothes for one's constantly growing children, food to feed the whole family and one's bottomless pit of a teenage son, medical bills, taxes, mortgage payments, gas money, loan payments...the list goes on and on. But if there's one thing I've learned from working with non-profits, it's that people always find that they have more to give than they thought once they start sharing with others. This sharing has nothing to do with money; when we share our physical things with others, oftentimes we find that we unknowingly share the love of Christ with them as well. Why can't we simply learn to love each other like that? To quote Miracle Max, "It would take a miracle." (Score one more Princess Bride reference for Erin). Good news is, that miracle has already been done. Christ already shared the ultimate currency with us when He died on the cross. Today we throw this word "love" around without knowing what it really means to love others; but by sharing, we truly come to understand what this "inconceivable" love for others is. Our rational minds cannot truly understand it, but thankfully, we don't have to. All we have to do is share that feeling with others.

This year's speaker is Dr. Loma Meyer. Dr. Meyer became a part of CSP's faculty in 1967; she became an award-winning professor, director of instruction

*What follows are my notes from the lecture*

Faith is a living and daring confidence in God's mercy, and goes along with learning in both life and death.  This integration involves the inclusion of the whole person; one's heart, soul, and mind. Over time, there has been change, and the topic of the integration of faith and learning has become more pressing for the Concordia University family for the past few decades. This has been due in partial to the changing student demographic. Only 5% of CSP's students are church-work majors, compared with 93% in 1967 when Dr. Meyer started at Concordia. During the turmoil of the 1970's, it became apparent that the Lutheran education was in a tentative partnership with the liberal arts; both were separate, but influenced each other.  CSP's current mission statement indicates the integration of faith and learning. There are some people at CSP who feel that this integration is not as big of an issue as it once was. Learning strengthens faith; the mind can be an ally. Faith shouldn't be shoved into compartments; it should grow and influence everything. Martin Luther defined vocation to not only refer to one's job, but also to one's relationships with others. They key is the service of others; without that, the vocation is nothing. That is what CSP is about. While the faculty has a Christian world-view, they also must have a heart of service to other. The curriculum is not focused on just "can-do", but also "why-do." Students need to be instilled with a spirit of inquiry if they are to be successful in their life after college. The trick is to fit all learning into a meaningful whole: an integration of faith and learning.

Well, it was a pretty great lecture. Dr. Meyer illustrated her point of how faith and learning should be integrated by illustrating how that has been carried out through CSP's history. Aside from the CSP history, I agreed with basically everything she said, as all of that has crossed my mind at one time or another. It was slightly comforting to know that A. an esteemed education elder completely agreed with me, and B. CSP has been more active in integrating faith and learning than I thought. While it is a comfort to see that principle at work sometimes, there are some places where I see this integration of faith and learning lacking a bit. True, there can be slip-ups sometimes, but we must always remember: no matter how successful our DII sports are. no matter how groundbreaking our movements forward, we cannot forget our Christian roots. Ever. This is not saying that all students on campus should be Christian; but there should be no doubt in the mind of anyone on campus that this is a Christian university, and that all of our curriculum is founded on faith.  

The speaker this week, Rev. Dr. Mitri Rahab, is a "Palestinian Arab Lutheran Christian pastor" in Bethlehem, Israel. He's been the pastor at the Evangelical Lutheran Christmas Church in Bethlehem since the late 80's. He speaks all over the world, and is at the forefront of the Christian movement in Palestine. 

Christians and Muslims in Palestine. Even though it seems like an anomliy for Christians to be in Palestine, there have always been Christians in Palestine, considering that Jesus was born in Bethlehem and all. Palestine actually used to be a Christian country at some point in history, although not for very long. The Bible is the book for the minority, not for the majority, even from its very beginnings. People assume that Palestinians used to be Muslim converted to Christianity...however, it is exactly the opposite. The number of Christians declined rapidly after the Crusades in the Middle Ages, because the Crusaders were not acting like Christians were supposed to act. 

Although Christians are a minority in Palestine, they are not a racial minority. Just because someone is from the Middle East, that does not mean that they are automatically Muslim. Christians and Muslims share one culture, and that is the Arab culture. Christianity is not German, not European...but Arabic. The Gospel was originally proclaimed in Arabic. Christians make up less than 2% of the population. Despite this, Christians run about 33%  of the health care in Palestine: hospitals, clinics, ect. This relates to what Jesus said about Christians - we are the salt of the earth. One does not put in a whole bunch of salt into a dish in order to make it taste good; one only needs a little bit to get the flavor. This is how Palestine is. Although the Christians are only a small minority, one is still able to see their great influence and flavor in the culture of Palestine.The main problem with Palestine is that no one, neither Christians nor Muslims or different political factions, is willing to work together. This is what Dr. Rahab has attempted to do in his university. He does not attempt to alienate the Christians by making them and island, nor does he try to Christianize the Muslims. Instead, he encourages Christians and Muslims to work together, side by side, to create something new. It could be a school project, music, art, mathematical formulas or a science experiment. It kinda reminds me of a song I sometimes sing in church..."And they'll know we are Christians by our love, by our love, yes they'll know we are Christians by our love."

I agree with Dr. Rahab completely on his vision for the school. It sometimes is baffling to me WHY people fight. My personality seems literally allergic to conflict between people at any time, although I do like to play devil's advocate in some discussions. Anyway, I digress. I do not understand these militant Christians, who seemingly try to force the Gospel down people's throats. One of my close friends in high school was like that. People do not respond well to violence. It's all about love. 

It kinda reminds me of a video I loved when I was younger, The Adventures of Frog and Toad. Toad was trying to grow a garden, and his seeds just would not grow, even though he screamed at them and commanded them to grow. He even sang a song about it:

"Sweet little seeds, why won't you grow?

It was only after Frog told his to talk nicely to his seeds, and Toad followed his advice, that his garden began to grow. (Isn't it amazing the things one can still remember from childhood? It's been at least 14 years since I saw Frog and Toad...)

Anyway, the point that I was trying to illustrate was that things grow better when they are shown love. This is actually true in plants, as well as relationships with animals and other humans. I really love how Dr. Rahab is instituting this principle with his university in Bethlehem. If only President Obama and some other world leaders would take the hint... 

So I'm pretty sure most people know the basics of Luther's story. Wanted to be a lawyer, got scared of a little thunder storm, promised his life to God if St. Anne would spare his life, yada yada yada, Luther becomes the monk who nails 95 theses to the church door in Wittenburg and starts this little thing called the Protestant Reformation. This history stuff is a no brainer. I mean, we've all seen the old black and white Luther movie every year around Reformation day in addition to the awesome newer version that came out about six years ago or so. But did you know that he was an awesome gardener, and did woodworking on the side to help support his family? Or that he possibly suffered from Meniere's Disease, along with high blood pressure? How about that his wife Katy was an ex-nun smuggled out of the nunnery in a fish barrel? Or that the pair were later engaged and married on the same day? Interesting guy, Luther was. 

Anyway, on to the writings for the week: The Gospel for the Early Christmas Service and Trade and Usury.

As exemplified by the above photo, Luther was a pretty radical dude for his day. Basically, a lot of people at this time thought that in order to really be a "good Christian" they had to become a monk or something. Luther didn't think this was the case. In the Christmas Service, he describes Christians as following (I'm going to insert this entire quote, because Luther says it so beautifully, and I could never adequately paraphrase the master):

Wow. Just wow. Awesome stuff, Luther.

Basically, he's saying that people are called by God to do any 

sort of job, not just being a monk or the Pope or whatever. Any job can be a calling, provided it's where God wants you. (Side note: This reminds me of a really funny camp story involving a misunderstanding and corn...but it's a long story, and I don't have time to recollect it here...moving on...)  According to Luther, a Christian is someone who believes with all their heart that they are saved through faith in the grace and blood of Jesus. That's it. No other nonsense about purgatory and indulgences and rosaries and the like. Granted, being a Christian can impact how you live your vocation, as Luther recounts in Trade and Usary. Basically, the whole point of that piece is: "Treat your neighbor fair and right as far as your business will allow, and in some cases, where it will not allow." While that is all meet, right, and salutary, the fact remains that a Christian is not determined by how we act, but by how we believe. It is by our love that everyone else knows we are Christians.

In this world, it is often hard to act in Christian love. American society is so wrapped up with the importance of the individual. From birth, we are taught to watch out for ourselves and to trust no one, because everyone else will only use you to get ahead. We can't wrap our heads around this concept of love without thought of reciprocation. I don't do the dishes when I'm at my house (or in my apartment, for that matter) because I'm going to get a pat on the back for it; I wash them because it will give my mom a rest or make the kitchen cleaner for my roommates to use. I have a really hard time excepting that; for example, I'm having a little get together thing for my birthday, and would have been quite content to do all of the preparations for myself...except for the fact that my friends insisted on baking my cake, and getting the food, and helping prepare everything. They're not getting anything out of the deal except for seeing me be happy on my birthday. What if everyone acted this way? What if we just all let down our barriers and started serving others all of the time instead of ourselves? Amazing things would happen, I could promise you that. I mean, even at EAG I've seen a little bit of that. No one is paid a salary; everything is done at the individual's expense or the gracious gifts of others. It's astonishing and wonderful to see. What would life be like if we let Jesus' love live through us?

One final thought: this reminds me of one of my current favorite songs - "What Life Would be Like" by Big Daddy Weave. I'll leave the link here. But I want to leave you guys with the chorus to the song...like Luther, it's pretty powerful stuff.

Yep. You read that right. It is one of the least favorite things I have read in my entire career, even surpassing my disdain for George Steinbeck's The Grapes of Wrath, Joseph Conrad's Heart of Darkness, Yan Martel's The Life of Pi. 

Anyway. I digress.

Tommy Aquinas was born into Italian nobility, and his family was horrified when he decided to join the ranks of the Dominican monks instead of the more prestigious Benedictines (kinda like how in Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer Hermey the Elf has 

dreams of being a world-famous dentist, but everyone else laughs at him and tells him he needs to be making toys like a respectable elf.) Anyway, the budding Dominican basically fell in love with Aristotle, and philosophy and stuff.  So he basically decided to become a philosopher himself, and wrote  whole bunch of philosophical stuff about Christianity. He used the question/answer form that every Lutheran knows was put into wide use by Martin Luther.

So, one of his questions is: Q. 186, a.4: Whether perpetual continence is required for religious perfection?  Basically, Aquinas responds by saying that in order to obtain religious perfection, one has to give up all earthy pleasures, including abstaining from sex, voluntarily enter a life of poverty. He seems to think that all this will equal a life of "religious perfection."

Basically, I think that's stupid.

See, there is no such thing as "religious perfection." As Martin Luther says, "I believe that I cannot, by my own reason or strength, believe in Jesus Christ my Lord or come to him." Nothing we do on this earth can gain us salvation. It's all grace. Which includes not having to do anything to keep that salvation. IT"S ALL GRACE. To me, Aquinas is implying that in order to "be closer to God" we have to give up all earthly pleasures in order to keep salvation. That's not true. We can't BE any closer to God than we already are - that's what grace is all about. No barriers. Now, I"m not saying that Christians should purposefully go and live a life full of debauchery and decadence. After all, we are not of this world. We should just live our lives as forgiven children of God and reciprocate on others the same grace-filled love God showed us.