Kyle Sorkness

The reading I selected this week is a portion of The Flowing Light of the Godhead by Mechthild of Magdeburg. According to Placher, Mechthild joined a Beguine community, where she lived a "more or less" monastic life. She wrote The Flowing Light of the Godhead when her confessor told her to write down the visions she had experienced. She lived from about 1210-1280 (p. 150).

The writings from Callings during this time period seek to answer a new question: "What kind of Christian should I be?" As Mechthild writes about monastic life, one could infer that a life of monasticism is her answer to that question.

While reading these portions of her book, I was looking for a quote that I could apply to my service project. She writes, "Thus shall you speak to each of your brothers in the deep humility of your pure heart: 'Alas, my dear fellow, I, though unworthy of anything good, am your servant in all the ways I can be and not your master. Unfortunately, however, I have authority over you and send you forth with the heartfelt love of God. The difficulty of your task moves me deeply, and yet I make the decisions. I rejoice in the sublime honor the heavenly Father has prepared for you'" (p. 152).

At long last, I have begun working at Trinity First Lutheran School on a regular basis. I help with their Tiger Club after-school program on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Thursdays, and I am helping with the kindergarten class before Tiger Club on Thursdays. This past week, I've begun to understand the leadership role that I play. In the kindergarten class, the teacher told the students that they had to respect me as they respect her and that I get to "boss them around," as she said. The room grew quiet for a moment as the kids seemed to reflect on this new relationship I would have with them. They were being told to respect me as an adult. (Of course, only moments later, they were hugging and clinging to me like I was one of them. Herein lies the complexity of this relationship.)

These lines from Mechthild remind me that I must be a servant-like leader. I can relate when she writes, "The difficulty of your task moves me deeply." The difficulties that these students face academically, socially, economically, etc. really do move me. I hope that I can play a small part in "send[ing] [them] forth with the heartfelt love of God."

This post is the first of ten that will focus on selections from a collection of writings called Callings: Twenty Centuries of Christian Wisdom on Vocation (edited by William C. Placher).

The selected reading for this post is a portion of "The Life of Antony" by Athanasius. I am not very familiar with either of these men, so the background information I'll supply here is from Placher. Placher says that, while in exile, Athanasius met Antony, who was then an old man. Athanasius's account of Antony's devote Christian life has had a large impact and caused many people to imitate Antony's way of life. This reading addresses one of our questions for this section of Callings that asks if being a Christian can/should be easy. At a time and place when many Christians' lives appeared to be too easy, Antony's life of self discipline and endurance of attacks from Satan was far from it.

Early on in this reading, Athanasius writes about Antony's role models. First, his parents raised him in a Christian home. Then, he heard about the early Christians who had given their belongings to the poor, encouraging him to do the same. Later, we read that "if he heard of a good man anywhere, like the prudent bee he went forth and sought him, nor turned back to his own place until he had seen him; and he returned, having got from the good man as it were supplies for his journey in the way of virtue" (p. 60). As mentioned in the previous paragraph, Antony himself then became a role model for those who would read his story.

Although I feel like my life is so far removed from Antony's, I think that I can also draw out some parallels in regard to role models. Just as the first influences on Antony were his parents, I also know that my parents played/play an immeasurable role in modeling my life. Antony found role models in the early Christians and in Scripture. While my response is less "literally mirrored" than Antony's, again, it's undeniable that the early Christians have influenced my life, personally and in the way I interact with(in) the Church. Finally, when reading this, I immediately drew connections between Antony's seeking of "good men" for wisdom to my learning from professors here at Concordia. I realize that life's path is not as linear or segmented as this, and that we learn from and act as role models at the same time, but in the same way that Antony grew from one end of the spectrum to the other, I hope that I can also use the wisdom that I receive from the role models in my life and that I can pass it on to those around or after me.

For my last project post of the semester, I thought it would be fitting to give a sort of general overview of what has happened and relate it all to one of our main topics of discussion this semester in Honors - that of personal calling.

When I first started thinking about my Honors project, I wanted to focus on urban Christian outreach. The basic response I heard back from the churches and organizations I contacted was, "That's great that you'd like to help. However, we don't have any very intentional or structured program or formal position for you to fit into." When that happened, I had to switch my issue. Somehow, I turned my sights toward education, specifically, parochial education. When I was pointed to Trinity First Lutheran School, I found that it actually met both of my issues. Trinity does Christian outreach through the parochial education they offer.

Not too long ago, when I was scrolling through my past blog posts, I realized something else about Trinity. It meets all 3 of the requirements I had laid out at the beginning of the semester in my first blog post! Trinity is obviously faith-based, as a school, it's all about teaching to fish, and I don't know if its location could be much more meaningful. Amazing how these things "fall together," isn't it?

I've had discussions with a professor here at Concordia (as well as with other students) about the troubles I have in separating Christian education from outreach. This comes into play when talking about the differences between the Director of Christian Education and Director of Christian Outreach programs here at Concordia. The great thing about Trinity is that it really does fit the two together. As I explore my "deep joy" and the "deep hungers of the world," education is definitely an area where I think I should be looking.

Lastly, I'd like to end this semester on an even more personal note. I'm not sure if any of the other Honors students have written about it yet or not, but if you've been reading their blogs also you might have read about Dr. Schuler's sabbatical next year. When I was first introduced to the Honors program, I was unsure about it, but I was ready to sign up after just a few words from Dr. Schuler. He and the Honors program played a large role in my choosing Concordia University, St. Paul, and I'm deeply saddened that we won't be under his instruction for the "learning year" of the Honors program. Such is life, I suppose.

So that I don't end on a sad note, I'll reiterate that I'm glad to have been a part of the Honors program this semester, and I'm looking forward to the time we have left together as a class next semester and beyond.

Merry Christmas.

As long as I'm writing all these blog posts, I am reminded of an extra credit opportunity given to us a while back. The assignment was to go to a "Law and Gospel" convocation and write a response. I made paper notes at the time and am now simply turning those notes into a blog post.

The convocation was presented by Dr. Rolf Jacobson of Luther Seminary. Dr. Jacobson also spoke for our Honors banquet this year, and I really enjoy him. The following are some things he said that I thought were worth some lead and paper space.

• Lutherans care enough to allow different forms of church governance.
• The concept of law and gospel is the flip side of the doctrine of justification. We must know both.
• The distinction between the law and gospel is the summary of Christian doctrine.
• God's responses to the human condition: 1) law - do/don't do for the sake of neighbor and ourselves, 2) gospel - can't do for ourselves, so God does for us.
• Uses of the law: 1) Helps us get along better. Society can thrive. This is the civil use (curb). 2) It shows our brokenness. This is the theological use (mirror). 3) To sanctify believers. This is the didactic use (road map).
• The law is given to us for our neighbor's benefit. The law is not to make you a better you.
• Luther said that the theological use was the most important, while Calvin  said that the didactic use was the most important.
• The law can be summed as "love neighbor as self."
• The reductionist option is to "use a funnel" and say that the law says to love your neighbor.
• The mutualist option is like a ring that says the 10 commandments explain how to love.

I feel like I agree with the majority of what he said. Some of it reminded me of confirmation class. However, I still don't know what to think about saying that the law exists for the benefit of our neighbors. The Old Testament class that I took this semester gave me a new way of viewing the 10 commandments. This new way says that God was giving those in a relationship with him guidelines for living within that relationship - things God wants or doesn't want them to do within the relationship. So I'm not sure if this works with Dr. Jacobson's statement or not. As of right now, it seems to me that the law exists for more than just the benefit of one's neighbor, and maybe even more than for our neighbor and ourselves.

I look forward to learning more about this important distinction and definition of law and gospel, and, I look forward to attending more of Concordia's noon convocations if they're always this good.

Again, I'd like to apologize to you readers, whoever you are, for this sudden burst of posts. If I had it my way, I would've been lined up with an organization much earlier than I was so that I could have started blogging earlier.

That late start also means that I'm behind in my required 120 volunteer hours. I just turned in my time sheet today with a mere 3 or 4 hours. This means I have two options: 1) get in some hours over Christmas break, or 2) live at Trinity next semester.

While trying to think of possible things I could do over break, the thought occurred to me that I could work on or rebuild their website.

I first got into web design in seventh grade, I believe. Since then, I've built a good number of websites, some from scratch and some taking advantage of content management systems (like the site I made for my home church). I've also had formal education in this area, both at the high school and college level. In other words, this isn't the first time I've thought of redoing someone's website.

As of right now, I'm waiting to hear back from the staff member at Trinity who works with the website. If it works out, I'll be a happy camper. If not, I'll have to move to Plan B.

Plan B involves the Lutheran elementary school I went to in Fergus Falls, inconveniently also called Trinity. As chance would have it, they also have a website that needs building. So, either way, it looks like I'll be spending some quality Christmas vacation time with HTML & CSS. It's more enjoyable than it sounds. Really.

I'm looking forward to this web work for a couple reasons. For one, doing so will force me to learn a lot about the school. For another, I think I have some gifts in this area, and as we've talked about all semester in Honors, it's important to recognize where our gifts meet the world's needs.

I'll be sure to share the link when there's something to see.

As mentioned in the last blog post, I would like to write a little about the discussion I had after my first time working at Trinity First Lutheran School.

The conversation really begun when I started telling the staff member about the Honors project and the Project Report that goes along with it. I told her that I was working on chapter two, the literature review. I told her that I'm hoping to study the challenges faced by an urban, parochial elementary school.

A short walk through the kitchen area alone revealed a lot about the school. A look at the list of students who receive free or reduced lunches shows the economic state of many of these students and their families. Looking through the "pantry-like" room illuminated another important point; a good deal of food is donated to the school, either by churches or individuals within the church. And food isn't the only thing the Church donates.

At some point, the discussion then turned to the subject I blogged about last time: the reason for the formation of Tiger Club. Along with that came the discussion about the buses and that fact that Trinity doesn't have a lot of say with the public school system.

We moved upstairs and another staff member joined our conversation. Having worked at another parochial school, she could offer thoughts from another perspective. The other school that she worked at was much larger, so I asked her if she thought that the small size of Trinity was what gave it less voice with the public schools. She said she didn't think so. She just thinks that the public school system sees them as competition and doesn't really want to help them out.

A situation like this is different from what I'm used to back home. In Fergus Falls, from what I can tell, the relationship seems fairly friendly between the public and private schools. With a much smaller population, fewer schools, etc., I suppose this could be expected.

The other aspect different here than back home is the importance placed (or not placed) on the denomination of the parochial school. In Fergus, people pay attention to denomination when choosing a school or church. A lot of Catholic kids go to the Catholic school, Lutherans to the Lutheran school, and so on. Here, it seems to be more of the idea of a "good Christian school." I've learned that Trinity is a "family school" and that loyalties are strong.

When I asked the two staff members what they thought were the biggest challenges faced by Trinity, they said more or less what I expected them to say. Poverty is an issue. Difficult family situations are an issue. Cultural identity, or something to that effect, might also be an issue that I should investigate.

This was a very good first discussion to have, and I look forward to more.

Because of my late start with Trinity and the timing of finals week, I haven't been able to put in many project hours yet. However, I have worked once with Trinity's after-school program, so I'll write about that.

Trinity hosts their Tiger Club program before and after school, though the emphasis and the larger portion of the program takes place after school. Tiger Club is a time for homework help, games, reading, Bible lessons, snack, and time with friends. Trinity First Lutheran School students from all grades participate. The program is led by one staff member and a variable number of volunteers.

A discussion with the leader of Tiger Club revealed to me the reason the program began. Because Trinity is such a small private school, they don't have much "say" with the public school system. One result of this is being given less than optimal busing schedules. Trinity was given the choice to have either early or late busing for students at the end of the school day. They chose the late buses. This meant that students had nothing to do between the end of school and boarding the bus. Some walked home, but some of those students' parents weren't home to supervise them. Tiger Club gives students something productive to do during that time.

I started my time at Tiger Club by helping with some science, math, and reading homework. I then learned how to help students board the correct buses. The few remaining students had snack, games in the gymnasium, and reading time until their parents picked them up. The discussion I had with a couple teachers afterward was very enlightening and I plan to write about that in my next post.

Overall, I'd say that this first time working at Trinity went well. It gave me a chance to start to get to know some of the students who I'll be working with and around next semester. As I try to get some experience in all areas of the school, I think that this was a good starting point.

Chapter 2 of our Project Report is a literature review. Since I just finished chapter 2 a couple days ago, it's still pretty fresh in my mind and is asking to be the subject of a blog post.

First of all, allow me to rant a little (prospective Honors students, skip this paragraph). I understand the purpose and value of a literature review. If you're going to be studying anything, it makes sense that it would be helpful to read about the studies already done on the subject. What I don't like is citing literature reviews in a literature review. Many of the journal articles I used were not necessarily dedicated literature reviews, but they didn't seem to do much more than cite many other sources. What I'm trying to say here is that I really appreciate when people do their own work and offer new material to the rest of the world. Again, I realize the value of having the ability to use the work of someone else, but some of the articles that I read seemed to be compilations of what others have said with nothing new being given by the author. In those cases, I might as well just go read the original works. So when we use journal articles like this in a literature review, we're almost reviewing a review. I managed to only do it once, but I easily could have had many of my references be citations of citations. Of course, the other component that made writing this chapter awkward and difficult is the fact that none of us are really educated or informed in our social issues (such as parochial elementary schools in an urban setting, in my case). That couples with the fact that we didn't have enough time to actually read any of our journal articles or books in their entirety. This means that some of the quotes or ideas we took from them were probably taken out of context. All in all, I feel like this exercise was assigned in the mentality that "these aren't going to be the best literature reviews you could write, and this isn't really the best method for writing a literature review, but at least it introduces you to the practice." That being said, I was ranting about these very things to a graduate student (who's even studying education) who said that she had written many such papers and never really read through the journal articles either. She also complained about how many of them were basically rehashes of other people's work. I want my work and learning to be genuine, not just doing no more than I have to to meet assignment requirements. Note: This is not a request for more difficult homework! I am just a humble freshman, after all.

So although I don't believe that my chapter 2 is as good as it could be for the reasons I just gave, I'll share it with you here anyway.

We were told to write our literature review in such a way that we began broadly and narrowed in on our specific issue. Although I feel like this should've been presented to us as a helpful hint rather than an unbreakable rule, I did it for the sake of following instructions. Because my study is really on the challenges faced by a parochial elementary school, specifically one in an urban setting, I would've rather liked to focus on that area the entire time. Instead, I began by including issues faced by elementary schools in general, then narrowed in to issues faced by urban elementary schools, and finally narrowed in again to add the issues included with the parochial component. I think that structure worked out fairly well.

At the elementary school level, I chose to address three issues: community involvement, technology integration, and school safety. For schools in urban settings, I focused on the problems of high student mobility and lack of leadership. And the challenges I included for parochial schools were related to federal aid and maintaining balance of faith-based and "secular" education (although I'm still trying to decide whether there is such a thing as "secular" education).

Sometime toward the end of writing chapter 2, it finally clicked in me that I could actually work to solve these problems in some ways at Trinity First Lutheran School. If nothing else, simply observing the degree to which these issues exist there and seeing how the school reacts to them will help me better understand the topic.

As I briefly mentioned in the last project post, a large part of this Honors project is writing the Project Report. This report is divided into chapters. Chapter 1 includes information about the organization we are working with, the issue that organization deals with, and the scope and importance of our project. Since I only just recently got lined up with an organization (see project posts #2 and #3 if you're wondering what took so long), I just finished chapter 1 on Monday. I thought it would be appropriate to regurgitate some of that information here.

Trinity First Lutheran School was started by Trinity First Lutheran Church in 1859, making it the oldest Lutheran elementary school in MN. The school has gone through many changes in its long history. Starting as a place full of German immigrant children learning Lutheran theology on their way to becoming communicant members of the church, Trinity First is now a much different place. The changes in the school reflect the changes in its community. That community happens to be the Phillips neighborhood, arguably one of the most diverse areas in Minnesota. Needless to say, the hallways and classrooms are much more colorful now. The school has adapted itself to fit the needs of its community, while still holding to a focus on the faith.

The goal of my project is to study the challenges faced by a parochial school and the school's responses to those challenges. On a sub-level, it will be a study of the effect of parochial education on students from less than ideal circumstances.

If you'd like to just read the whole chapter, have at it. Just remember that this is sort of a first draft.

There may be another dimension added to my project, but I won't blog about that until I know more. Consider this a teaser.

Because I now actually have things to write about, keep watching here for more frequent updates.

I try not to use the word "perfect;" I try to reserve it for the few things that actually are perfect. So I'll just say that Trinity First Lutheran School seems like an almost perfect fit for my project.

When I met with the principal, I explained what I was looking for and how I ended up at Trinity. I told her my stories of trying to find an organization to do urban Christian outreach with, and I told her about switching my social issue to that of education. She said that Trinity First Lutheran Church and School really work in both of those areas. You could say that their urban outreach is done through the education they offer. I also told her that as someone looking toward some kind of church work, I think it would be beneficial for me to understand the "inner workings" of a parochial school.

The ideal plan is to have me job shadow different staff members at TFLS and get involved with all areas of the school.

I will begin working there this week. I'll start by becoming involved with Tiger Club, the after-school program that includes homework help, games, etc.

So, even though I haven't yet started working there, I have to write Chapter 1 of my Project Report by Monday. Thankfully, I was given some videos and literature on TFLS, but I'm not sure I'm going to have very much to write about yet. (This wouldn't all be so bad if I didn't have an Old Testament paper to write and test and final to study for. But whose complaining? Happy Thanksgiving break.)